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| Just How To [message #180325] |
Wed, 15 August 2012 02:50  |
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jaholland
Messages: 565
Registered: June 2010
Location: Sweet Home Alebamy
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Senior Member |
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~~> JUST HOW TO _ _ _ _ _ _
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Jewish Rabbi
all served as Chaplains to the students of the Northern
Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula
of Michigan.
They would get together two or three times a week for
coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to
people isn't really all that hard,
a real challenge would be to preach to a BEAR .
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an
experiment.
They would all go out into the deep woods, find a bear,
preach to it,
and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Several days later, they all came together to discuss
all of their experiences.
Father Frank, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches,
and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear.
And when I found him, I began to read to him from the
Catechism.
That bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap
me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled
him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, that bear became as
gentle as a lamb. Next week The Bishop is coming out to
give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one
arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his
best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed,
'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle!
I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read
to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!
But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.So I took HOLD
of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,
UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.
So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
And just like you said, that bear became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi,
who was lying in a hospital bed.
That Rabbi was in a body cast and traction with IVs and
monitors running in and out of him.
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said:
"Looking back on it, It may not have been the best way
for me to start ~ ~
You See
I Really Don't Believe
I Should Have Started
With
. . . . C I R C U M C I S I O N . . . . !
~ Joe ~
/_]*[__][] *[__|] ~ * '73 TZE063V101887 "
"
O----------OO--]* ~ '78 TZE168V100234 "
"
" Joe & Lavelle " "
"
'sweet home alebamy'
[Updated on: Wed, 15 August 2012 03:06] Report message to a moderator |
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| Re: [GMCnet] Just How To [message #180354 is a reply to message #180325] |
Wed, 15 August 2012 10:37  |
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hnielsen2
Messages: 1434
Registered: February 2004
Location: Alpine CA
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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LOL!
All is well with my Lord
Howard
The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the
average voter
(Winston Churchill)
----- Original Message -----
From: "J A Holland" <acts238bishop@yahoo.com>
To: <gmclist@temp.gmcnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 00:50
Subject: [GMCnet] Just How To
>
>
> ~~> JUST HOW TO _ _ _ _ _ _
>
> A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Jewish Rabbi
> all served as Chaplains to the students of the Northern
> Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula
> of Michigan.
>
>
> They would get together two or three times a week for
> coffee and to talk shop.
> One day, someone made the comment that preaching to
> people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge
> would be to preach to a bear.
>
>
> One thing led to another, and they decided to do an
> experiment. They would all go out into the deep woods,
> find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to
> their religion.
>
>
> Seven days later, they all came together to discuss all
> of their experiences. Father Frank, who had his arm in
> a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on
> his body and limbs, went first.
>
> 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a
> bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from
> the Catechism. That bear wanted nothing to do with me
> and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my
> holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God,
> that bear became as gentle as a lamb. Next week The Bishop
> is coming out to give him first communion and confirmation.'
>
>
> Reverend Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one
> arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best
> fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers,
> you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I
> FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from
> God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
> So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled d
> own one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a
> creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
> And just like you said, that bear became as gentle as a lamb.
> We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.
>
> The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi,
> who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and
> traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.
> He was in really bad shape.
>
> The Rabbi looked up and said:
> "Looking back on it,
> It may not have been the best way for me
> ~~> to start with
>
> . . . . C I R C U M C I S I O N . . . . !
>
> ~ JOE ~
>
>
> --
> /_]*[__][] *[__|] ~ * '73 TZE063V101887 ""
> O----------OO--]* ~ '78 TZE168V100234 ""
> " Joe & Lavelle " ""
> 'sweet home alebamy'
>
> _______________________________________________
> GMCnet mailing list
> Unsubscribe or Change List Options:
> http://temp.gmcnet.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/gmclist
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All is well with my Lord
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