Home » Public Forums » GMCnet » MOTHERS DAY
| MOTHERS DAY [message #169230] |
Fri, 11 May 2012 08:27  |
C Boyd
Messages: 2629
Registered: April 2006
Karma: 18
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Senior Member |
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For all with CRS.. this weekend is Mothers Day...
C. Boyd
76 Crestmont
East Tennessee
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| Re: [GMCnet] MOTHERS DAY [message #169419 is a reply to message #169256] |
Sun, 13 May 2012 10:24  |
stick miller
Messages: 1036
Registered: March 2010
Location: Americus, Georgia
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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I hope you will indulge me. This column was first published in the Americus Times Recorder on May 15, 2006. It was the first of many newspaper columns I've written about the funny and the not-so-funny slices of life. I thought it was timely enough to run once more as a remembrance of my mom and that perhaps it would trigger memories for you on this special day.
The alarm on my cell phone is set to ring at 6:30 every night. It is a reminder to me to call my mother, just to make sure she’s OK and tucked in for the night. The older she gets, the earlier, it seems, she takes to the bed.
I won’t be making those calls any more. There won’t be an answer. I just spent Mother’s Day and the day after with my mom — watching her die and holding her hand and making some pretty tough decisions.
She has been sick a long time. She was one of those that never smoked, yet she suffered from lung disease for the past 30 years. It has been a long difficult road, but it was only in the last 15 months since Daddy died that she has let it get the best of her.
So I spent the day trying to remember better times and talking to her about her family and her dogs. I also tried to put into perspective a life of 81 years that has never seen hunger or want or undue sadness. She had a good life, and she deserves a good death experience.
I talked to her and I talked to me, trying to make both of us feel better about what is going on here. I also read her living will over and over making sure we were making the right decisions.
In the end, it was anti-climactic. She just quit struggling. I’ve heard stories about people at the door of death opening their eyes, smiling or saying something that makes their survivors feel better. Momma just died.
In the throws of my grief and disbelief, here are two observations I’d like to make:
Mother’s living will and the accompanying durable power of attorney made things so much easier. Decisions were made that I needed some cognitive direction from my mother. Decisions that she made in a better time and frame of mind made it possible to lend a bit of dignity to her last day. Make sure you have a legal document that will carry out your wishes for medical care in your final illness. It will save a lot of heartache and guilt in the long run.
Also, if you have a mother or a father, pick up the phone and call them. Call them and tell them you love them and don’t ever let a day go by without touching base. Believe me; right now I’m really glad I was able to do that for my parents.
I’ve thought about changing my cell phone so the alarm doesn’t ring every night, but for now, I’m OK with the reminder. It’s a little bit of an annoyance knowing that at 6:30 every day the phone will ring in my pocket. But that slight inconvenience is tempered by the thought of the privilege I’ve just lost … and what I would give to be able to call her just one more time.
Stick Miller
'78 Royale - "White Trash" - she left me for another man
'76 Eleganza - "Cousin Eddie" Sold
'84 Bluebird Wanderlodge - "Past Tents"
Americus, GA
[Updated on: Sun, 13 May 2012 10:25] Report message to a moderator |
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| Re: [GMCnet] MOTHERS DAY [message #169427 is a reply to message #169419] |
Sun, 13 May 2012 12:49 |
9736r
Messages: 21
Registered: February 2004
Karma: 0
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Junior Member |
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Thank you ....
----- Original Message -----
From: "Stick Miller" <stickmiller@gmail.com>
To: <gmclist@temp.gmcnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, May 13, 2012 8:24 AM
Subject: Re: [GMCnet] MOTHERS DAY
>
>
> I hope you will indulge me. This column was first published in the Times
> Recorder on May 15, 2006. It was the first of many newspaper columns I've
> written about the funny and the not-so-funny slices of life. I thought it
> was timely enough to run once more as a remembrance of my mom and that
> perhaps it would trigger memories for you on this special day.
>
> The alarm on my cell phone is set to ring at 6:30 every night. It is a
> reminder to me to call my mother, just to make sure she’s OK and
> tucked in for the night. The older she gets, the earlier, it seems, she
> takes to the bed.
>
> I won’t be making those calls any more. There won’t be an
> answer. I just spent Mother’s Day and the day after with my mom
> — watching her die and holding her hand and making some pretty tough
> decisions.
>
> She has been sick a long time. She was one of those that never smoked, yet
> she suffered from lung disease for the past 30 years. It has been a long
> difficult road, but it was only in the last 15 months since Daddy died
> that she has let it get the best of her.
>
> So I spent the day trying to remember better times and talking to her
> about her family and her dogs. I also tried to put into perspective a life
> of 81 years that has never seen hunger or want or undue sadness. She had a
> good life, and she deserves a good death experience.
>
> I talked to her and I talked to me, trying to make both of us feel better
> about what is going on here. I also read her living will over and over
> making sure we were making the right decisions.
>
> In the end, it was anti-climactic. She just quit struggling. I’ve
> heard stories about people at the door of death opening their eyes,
> smiling or saying something that makes their survivors feel better. Momma
> just died.
>
> In the throws of my grief and disbelief, here are two observations
> I’d like to make:
>
> Mother’s living will and the accompanying durable power of attorney
> made things so much easier. Decisions were made that I needed some
> cognitive direction from my mother. Decisions that she made in a better
> time and frame of mind made it possible to lend a bit of dignity to her
> last day. Make sure you have a legal document that will carry out your
> wishes for medical care in your final illness. It will save a lot of
> heartache and guilt in the long run.
>
> Also, if you have a mother or a father, pick up the phone and call them.
> Call them and tell them you love them and don’t ever let a day go by
> without touching base. Believe me; right now I’m really glad I was
> able to do that for my parents.
>
> I’ve thought about changing my cell phone so the alarm doesn’t
> ring every night, but for now, I’m OK with the reminder. It’s
> a little bit of an annoyance knowing that at 6:30 every day the phone will
> ring in my pocket. But that slight inconvenience is tempered by the
> thought of the privilege I’ve just lost … and what I would
> give to be able to call her just one more time.
>
> --
> Stick Miller
> '78 Royale - she left me for another man
> Americus, Georgia
>
>
>
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> GMCnet mailing list
> Unsubscribe or Change List Options:
> http://temp.gmcnet.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/gmclist
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| Re: [GMCnet] MOTHERS DAY [message #169550 is a reply to message #169419] |
Mon, 14 May 2012 11:18 |
jhbridges
Messages: 8412
Registered: May 2011
Location: Braselton ga
Karma: -74
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Senior Member |
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I remind the kids I work with - cos many are from one parent homes - 'Take care of Momma and Daddy regardless how you feel. They're the only ones you're gonna get.' And I got a buddy with directions and a durable power of attorney, just in case Paula isn't around to make choices. The decisions you made are the ones you must make - although sometimes there's so much turmoil you can't tell it at the time.
johnny
"76 23' transmode norris
'76 palm beach
From: Stick Miller <stickmiller@gmail.com>
To: gmclist@temp.gmcnet.org
Sent: Sunday, May 13, 2012 11:24 AM
Subject: Re: [GMCnet] MOTHERS DAY
I hope you will indulge me. This column was first published in the Times Recorder on May 15, 2006. It was the first of many newspaper columns I've written about the funny and the not-so-funny slices of life. I thought it was timely enough to run once more as a remembrance of my mom and that perhaps it would trigger memories for you on this special day.
The alarm on my cell phone is set to ring at 6:30 every night. It is a reminder to me to call my mother, just to make sure she’s OK and tucked in for the night. The older she gets, the earlier, it seems, she takes to the bed.
I won’t be making those calls any more. There won’t be an answer. I just spent Mother’s Day and the day after with my mom — watching her die and holding her hand and making some pretty tough decisions.
She has been sick a long time. She was one of those that never smoked, yet she suffered from lung disease for the past 30 years. It has been a long difficult road, but it was only in the last 15 months since Daddy died that she has let it get the best of her.
So I spent the day trying to remember better times and talking to her about her family and her dogs. I also tried to put into perspective a life of 81 years that has never seen hunger or want or undue sadness. She had a good life, and she deserves a good death experience.
I talked to her and I talked to me, trying to make both of us feel better about what is going on here. I also read her living will over and over making sure we were making the right decisions.
In the end, it was anti-climactic. She just quit struggling. I’ve heard stories about people at the door of death opening their eyes, smiling or saying something that makes their survivors feel better. Momma just died.
In the throws of my grief and disbelief, here are two observations I’d like to make:
Mother’s living will and the accompanying durable power of attorney made things so much easier. Decisions were made that I needed some cognitive direction from my mother. Decisions that she made in a better time and frame of mind made it possible to lend a bit of dignity to her last day. Make sure you have a legal document that will carry out your wishes for medical care in your final illness. It will save a lot of heartache and guilt in the long run.
Also, if you have a mother or a father, pick up the phone and call them. Call them and tell them you love them and don’t ever let a day go by without touching base. Believe me; right now I’m really glad I was able to do that for my parents.
I’ve thought about changing my cell phone so the alarm doesn’t ring every night, but for now, I’m OK with the reminder. It’s a little bit of an annoyance knowing that at 6:30 every day the phone will ring in my pocket. But that slight inconvenience is tempered by the thought of the privilege I’ve just lost … and what I would give to be able to call her just one more time.
--
Stick Miller
'78 Royale - she left me for another man
Americus, Georgia
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Foolish Carriage, 76 26' Eleganza(?) with beaucoup mods and add - ons.
Braselton, Ga.
I forgive them all, save those who hurt the dogs. They must answer to me in hell
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