Home » Public Forums » GMCnet » Emergency trip to Phoenix (Some GMC content)
| Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106738] |
Thu, 25 November 2010 21:28  |
Mitch
Messages: 272
Registered: May 2009
Location: Tacoma, Wa
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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In late Oct. we had to make a fast run to Sun Lakes, Az. My Father in law has cancer and is undergoing Chemo. The wife talked to him on a Sat.,didn't like the way he was sounding and within 24 hours we were on the road. Because of the need for speed and no time to prep it, we didn't take the GMC, Taking the van instead, and hitting motels.
When we got there we found he was looking very weak and frail. We stayed three weeks, feeding him a lot of good food, and getting him back on his feet. he even went through another round of chemo with no side effects.
Then we had to get back up here to take over on all the dogs, pay bills and do some planning.
The wife wants to move near her Dad, and I do understand that-he's 86. I don't want to sell out up here, and no one will rent to some one with three dogs and two cats, so I'll have to buy something down there.
That means I must sell my GMC. I'll be posting it after the first of the year.
Not an idea I'm wild about but...
Oh, GMC content-spotted a white GMC with blue stripes south bound on I-5 near Sacremento on Saturday
Mitch
Tacoma, Wa.
'80 Spitfire
'03 Windstar
'77 Jaguar XJ6-C
X(very)'76 PB 26 "The Beast"
Where it rains, always.
It's wet, No sun, Gray.
Go to Oregon.
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106770 is a reply to message #106738] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 06:44  |
Steven Ferguson
Messages: 3447
Registered: May 2006
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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That is really tough. We have been there and know well the trials that you
face. Sometimes it's hard to think logically under that kind of stress and
the obvious answer is to pretend you know a little about things that happen
to very old people and move her father in with you. We did that and I would
never do it again simply because we do not have the medical background that
is so very necessary when caring for an aging person. You may think you can
and you may have the very best of intentions but when you care for an aging
loved one, your entire life gets set aside while you prepare for the
inevitable. There is no rest and the strain on your relationship can be
overwhelming.
Another answer is for your wife to move in with her father on a temporary
basis while you stay there and keep the home fires burning and have a good
home she can return to.
The best answer is to move her father into a facility where he can have some
kind of social life and qualified, on site medical care. Old people have a
lot of accidents, and fall a LOT. Someone has to be there 24/7 to assist
them. A lot of medical problems occur in old people and you need to have
some kind of medical background in order to recognize the more subtle
symptoms before small problems become emergencies.
I would suggest you visit as many elder care facilities in your area as you
can. The differences between good ones and not so good ones is quite
obvious. Just look at the people. Talk to the managers, have a meal or two
there. God, I wish we had done that before we took on the challenge. The
very best of luck to you.
Absolutely no GMC content in this post whatsoever.
On Thu, Nov 25, 2010 at 8:28 PM, Mitch <Yowzax3@harbornet.com> wrote:
>
>
> In late Oct. we had to make a fast run to Sun Lakes, Az. My Father in law
> has cancer and is undergoing Chemo. The wife talked to him on a Sat.,didn't
> like the way he was sounding and within 24 hours we were on the road.
> Because of the need for speed and no time to prep it, we didn't take the
> GMC, Taking the van instead, and hitting motels.
> When we got there we found he was looking very weak and frail. We stayed
> three weeks, feeding him a lot of good food, and getting him back on his
> feet. he even went through another round of chemo with no side effects.
> Then we had to get back up here to take over on all the dogs, pay bills and
> do some planning.
> The wife wants to move near her Dad, and I do understand that-he's 86. I
> don't want to sell out up here, and no one will rent to some one with three
> dogs and two cats, so I'll have to buy something down there.
> That means I must sell my GMC. I'll be posting it after the first of the
> year.
> Not an idea I'm wild about but...
> Oh, GMC content-spotted a white GMC with blue stripes south bound on I-5
> near Sacremento on Saturday
> --
> Mitch
> Tacoma, Wa.
> '80 Spitfire
> '03 Windstar
> X(very)PB 26 "The Beast"
> Where it rains, always.
>
> It's wet, No sun, Gray.
> Go to Oregon.
> _______________________________________________
> GMCnet mailing list
> List Information and Subscription Options:
> http://temp.gmcnet.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/gmclist
>
--
Steve Ferguson
Sierra Vista, AZ
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106782 is a reply to message #106770] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 09:13 |
mlincoln
Messages: 107
Registered: August 2006
Location: Salt Lake City
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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Dear Mitch,
As a medical professional, I will second Steve Ferguson's advice here. I understand from what you've said that your father-in-law is an 86 year with cancer, undergoing chemotherapy, and too frail to live alone. It would be usual in such cases that he would be a tremendous burden to care for in his home, even for a young couple. I make these observations not knowing the type of cancer, or the patient. However it is a very typical scenario that the family flies into town, commits to move or live in, and is quickly overwhelmed. The patient may soon expire, and then a number of expensive and disruptive family life changes have to be undone.
You'd be much better keeping the GMC, going in it to Arizona, and learning the situation firsthand. Ask the doctors, who know the prognosis, and the social workers--who just as importantly know the financial and insurance options for assisted living--for straight and unvarnished information. Ask candidly whether or not, in their opinion, it is really possible for you two to care for him in his home. You may wish to ask for a rehabilitation medicine consultation. Rehabilitation docs supervise multidisciplinary teams of therapists, social workers, and insurance experts. They can assess cases such as your father-in-laws' and determine whether he can really return home, and predict how much assistance he'll need. The team can provide rehab hospitalization to work on activities of daily living to make a potential return to home more likely to succeed. You may also find out assisted living or even skilled nursing home care is now the most realistic option. When my father di
ed suddenly and unexpectedly, thereby revealing my mother's slowly developing dementia, it was hard enough for my four of my six siblings, their spouses, and I to fly into Michigan, in rotation, to take care of my physically healthy mother. That effort was on top of another brother and sister still living in Michigan full time. I can't imagine having taken care of someone who was gravely ill, such as needing frequent doctors visits, home infusions, and perhaps suffering from chemo side effects.
One final point: make alternative plans early. You need a complete plan several layers deep, not just one rickety plan that depends mainly upon assumptions, hopes, and perhaps guilt. My parents were relatively well off and had long-term care insurance. Nevertheless it took several months to arrange assisted living because of the space (bed availability) issue. If there is any chance your father-in-law may need assisted living or nursing home care (whether skilled or unskilled) then work on those options right away. Too many people wait "until it is really necessary" (of course, it was usually necessary months previously) and then find they're on the bottom of everyone's admission waiting list. Although waiting seems like the dutiful and respectful choice, it actually can threaten the sick person's health and life and simultaneously wreck yours.
Anyway, this is a version of a talk I've had many hundreds of times. It is always difficult. Try to be realistic. Have your wife (the daughter) read this email, perhaps.
Kind regards,
Mike Lincoln (MD, Associate Professor of Medicine, University of Utah)
1978 CK Royale
On Nov 26, 2010, at 7:44 AM, Steven Ferguson wrote:
> That is really tough. We have been there and know well the trials that you
> face. Sometimes it's hard to think logically under that kind of stress and
> the obvious answer is to pretend you know a little about things that happen
> to very old people and move her father in with you. We did that and I would
> never do it again simply because we do not have the medical background that
> is so very necessary when caring for an aging person. You may think you can
> and you may have the very best of intentions but when you care for an aging
> loved one, your entire life gets set aside while you prepare for the
> inevitable. There is no rest and the strain on your relationship can be
> overwhelming.
> Another answer is for your wife to move in with her father on a temporary
> basis while you stay there and keep the home fires burning and have a good
> home she can return to.
> The best answer is to move her father into a facility where he can have some
> kind of social life and qualified, on site medical care. Old people have a
> lot of accidents, and fall a LOT. Someone has to be there 24/7 to assist
> them. A lot of medical problems occur in old people and you need to have
> some kind of medical background in order to recognize the more subtle
> symptoms before small problems become emergencies.
> I would suggest you visit as many elder care facilities in your area as you
> can. The differences between good ones and not so good ones is quite
> obvious. Just look at the people. Talk to the managers, have a meal or two
> there. God, I wish we had done that before we took on the challenge. The
> very best of luck to you.
> Absolutely no GMC content in this post whatsoever.
>
>
> On Thu, Nov 25, 2010 at 8:28 PM, Mitch <Yowzax3@harbornet.com> wrote:
>
>>
>>
>> In late Oct. we had to make a fast run to Sun Lakes, Az. My Father in law
>> has cancer and is undergoing Chemo. The wife talked to him on a Sat.,didn't
>> like the way he was sounding and within 24 hours we were on the road.
>> Because of the need for speed and no time to prep it, we didn't take the
>> GMC, Taking the van instead, and hitting motels.
>> When we got there we found he was looking very weak and frail. We stayed
>> three weeks, feeding him a lot of good food, and getting him back on his
>> feet. he even went through another round of chemo with no side effects.
>> Then we had to get back up here to take over on all the dogs, pay bills and
>> do some planning.
>> The wife wants to move near her Dad, and I do understand that-he's 86. I
>> don't want to sell out up here, and no one will rent to some one with three
>> dogs and two cats, so I'll have to buy something down there.
>> That means I must sell my GMC. I'll be posting it after the first of the
>> year.
>> Not an idea I'm wild about but...
>> Oh, GMC content-spotted a white GMC with blue stripes south bound on I-5
>> near Sacremento on Saturday
>> --
>> Mitch
>> Tacoma, Wa.
>> '80 Spitfire
>> '03 Windstar
>> X(very)PB 26 "The Beast"
>> Where it rains, always.
>>
>> It's wet, No sun, Gray.
>> Go to Oregon.
>> _______________________________________________
>> GMCnet mailing list
>> List Information and Subscription Options:
>> http://temp.gmcnet.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/gmclist
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Steve Ferguson
> Sierra Vista, AZ
> _______________________________________________
> GMCnet mailing list
> List Information and Subscription Options:
> http://temp.gmcnet.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/gmclist
_______________________________________________
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Mike
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106786 is a reply to message #106769] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 09:46 |
Mitch
Messages: 272
Registered: May 2009
Location: Tacoma, Wa
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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Gene,as much as I love my wife, fulltiming in a GMC is not a prospect I would look forward to. Throw in three dogs and two cats.......
Mitch
Tacoma, Wa.
'80 Spitfire
'03 Windstar
'77 Jaguar XJ6-C
X(very)'76 PB 26 "The Beast"
Where it rains, always.
It's wet, No sun, Gray.
Go to Oregon.
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106788 is a reply to message #106769] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 09:59 |
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USAussie
Messages: 15912
Registered: July 2007
Location: Sydney, Australia
Karma: 6
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Senior Member |
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Gene,
With three dogs and two cats?
Boy that would be interesting!
Regards,
Rob M.
USAussie
-----Original Message-----
From: gmclist-bounces@temp.gmcnet.org
[mailto:gmclist-bounces@temp.gmcnet.org] On Behalf Of Mr.erf ERFisher
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2010 4:59 AM
To: gmclist@temp.gmcnet.org
Subject: Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix
> The wife wants to move near her Dad, and I do understand that-he's 86. I
> don't want to sell out up here, and no one will rent to some one with
three dogs and two cats, so I'll have to buy something down there.
>
I have known several GMCers that have become full-timers in their GMCs
because of these and other types, of emergencies. They have full-timed
from 1 to 4 years (not real fun) in their coaches and then when it is
possible, they returned home.
one option
wishing you the best
gene
--
Gene Fisher -- 74-23,77PB/ore/ca
"Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today --- give him a URL and
-------
http://gmcmotorhome.info/
Alternator Protection Cable
http://gmcmotorhome.info/APC.html
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GMCnet mailing list
List Information and Subscription Options:
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_______________________________________________
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List Information and Subscription Options:
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Regards,
Rob M. (USAussie)
The Pedantic Mechanic
Sydney, Australia
'75 Avion - AUS - The Blue Streak TZE365V100428
'75 Avion - USA - Double Trouble TZE365V100426
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106794 is a reply to message #106782] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 10:23 |
Mitch
Messages: 272
Registered: May 2009
Location: Tacoma, Wa
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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Some clarification is needed because I was doing a condensed version of events.
When we arrived, he was looking frail, but after several weeks of good eating he has improved dramatically.
While we were there he had an appointment with his Oncologist, and we sat in. FiL has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, with the obvious site in his inner cheek, near the tooth line. After one round of chemo (4 days of reduced strength because of his age) the site had greatly improved. The Dr. was quite positive in his response. He had a second session while we were there, with no side effects. And he has three more rounds to go through. After that comes a round of scans and a determination of further treatment.
The spate of frailty was either because of an initial reaction to the chemo or a case of flu, no one is quite sure.
Mostly his health is very good for a man of his age. He is very busy around the house, and for the time we were there he insisted on continuing his routines.
He is still in full control of his faculties, and is even riding a stationary bike to improve his stamina. So we are not talking about some one in the end stages of his life. The wife and I have talked with him about later and his preference is to stay in his own home. So we know there will come a time when Professionals will have to be employed.
The wife simply wants to be around her Dad while they can still enjoy each other. That can involve several years of living down there.
Now, I like my father in Law, but I wouldn't want to live in his house full time for that long. Me staying up here while the wife is in Az. just isn't acceptable for some indeterminate period of time, and since she doesn't drive I'm the defacto duty driver.Also I want my dogs with me.
All that means our best option is to buy a place near him. Given the economy, a house down there is fairly inexpensive, but selling up here can be difficult. Plus I really don't want to sell and price myself out of this area in a few years.
So my real difficulty now is freeing up enough money for a decent down payment in Sun Lakes. Added to that, is the knowledge that the GMC will end up sitting for several years and we know that won't be good for it. So the best thing to do is get it into the hands of some one that will be able to put it to good use.
Mitch
Tacoma, Wa.
'80 Spitfire
'03 Windstar
'77 Jaguar XJ6-C
X(very)'76 PB 26 "The Beast"
Where it rains, always.
It's wet, No sun, Gray.
Go to Oregon.
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106797 is a reply to message #106794] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 10:35 |
Mitch
Messages: 272
Registered: May 2009
Location: Tacoma, Wa
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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I do want to thank everyone for their input.
I went through something similar with my Mother a couple years ago, so we aren't going into this with blinders on. We need to be near by so that decisions can be made in a timely manner.
Mitch
Tacoma, Wa.
'80 Spitfire
'03 Windstar
'77 Jaguar XJ6-C
X(very)'76 PB 26 "The Beast"
Where it rains, always.
It's wet, No sun, Gray.
Go to Oregon.
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| Re: Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106802 is a reply to message #106738] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 10:59 |
Luvn737s
Messages: 1106
Registered: June 2007
Karma: 2
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Senior Member |
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There seems to be a fairly constant migration of people from Washington state to Phoenix and vice versa. Maybe you can find someone willing to do a house swap.
Randy
1973 26' Painted Desert
Ahwatukee (Phoenix) AZ
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| Re: Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106803 is a reply to message #106802] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 11:00 |
Mitch
Messages: 272
Registered: May 2009
Location: Tacoma, Wa
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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That is a thought.
Mitch
Tacoma, Wa.
'80 Spitfire
'03 Windstar
'77 Jaguar XJ6-C
X(very)'76 PB 26 "The Beast"
Where it rains, always.
It's wet, No sun, Gray.
Go to Oregon.
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| Re: Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106807 is a reply to message #106802] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 11:23 |
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| Luvn737s wrote on Fri, 26 November 2010 10:59 |
There seems to be a fairly constant migration of people from Washington state to Phoenix and vice versa. Maybe you can find someone willing to do a house swap.
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A house swap or a time share might be a good idea. Its hard to deal with this stuff, I wen through a lot of this with my father 3 years ago, though he was only in his 50s and the VA thankfully provided good care...
73 Canyon Lands, (a.k.a. The Yellow Submarine) West Los Angeles CA
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106817 is a reply to message #106770] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 12:19 |
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hnielsen2
Messages: 1434
Registered: February 2004
Location: Alpine CA
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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Steve;
I total agree with your statement.
As some of you know we had Susie mom Marian with us for about five years.
She was the sweet lady you would ever want to know.
As Steve said its a lot more then you think its going to be.
Then on the other hand we did have a lot of fun going and doing things with
Marian.
Now we are dealing with my mom and she can be 180 to deal with from Susie
mom.
My mom is living at a very fine place in Escondido Ca .
The name of it is Aegis of Escondido.
Look in to Aegis you could not find a nicer place for your folks.
Aegis has homes all over country.
Howard
Alpine Ca
Original Message -----
From: "Steven Ferguson" <botiemad11@gmail.com>
To: <gmclist@temp.gmcnet.org>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2010 4:44 AM
Subject: Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix
> That is really tough. We have been there and know well the trials that
> you
> face. Sometimes it's hard to think logically under that kind of stress
> and
> the obvious answer is to pretend you know a little about things that
> happen
> to very old people and move her father in with you. We did that and I
> would
> never do it again simply because we do not have the medical background
> that
> is so very necessary when caring for an aging person. You may think you
> can
> and you may have the very best of intentions but when you care for an
> aging
> loved one, your entire life gets set aside while you prepare for the
> inevitable. There is no rest and the strain on your relationship can be
> overwhelming.
> Another answer is for your wife to move in with her father on a temporary
> basis while you stay there and keep the home fires burning and have a good
> home she can return to.
> The best answer is to move her father into a facility where he can have
> some
> kind of social life and qualified, on site medical care. Old people have
> a
> lot of accidents, and fall a LOT. Someone has to be there 24/7 to assist
> them. A lot of medical problems occur in old people and you need to have
> some kind of medical background in order to recognize the more subtle
> symptoms before small problems become emergencies.
> I would suggest you visit as many elder care facilities in your area as
> you
> can. The differences between good ones and not so good ones is quite
> obvious. Just look at the people. Talk to the managers, have a meal or
> two
> there. God, I wish we had done that before we took on the challenge.
> The
> very best of luck to you.
> Absolutely no GMC content in this post whatsoever.
>
>
> On Thu, Nov 25, 2010 at 8:28 PM, Mitch <Yowzax3@harbornet.com>
_______________________________________________
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All is well with my Lord
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| Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix [message #106824 is a reply to message #106782] |
Fri, 26 November 2010 13:58 |
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hnielsen2
Messages: 1434
Registered: February 2004
Location: Alpine CA
Karma: 0
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Senior Member |
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Mike;
Thank you for spelling it out so very well.
As they say been there and still doing it.
Thanks
Howard
Alpine Ca
----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael Lincoln" <mlincoln1@gmail.com>
To: <gmclist@temp.gmcnet.org>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2010 7:13 AM
Subject: Re: [GMCnet] Emergency trip to Phoenix
> Dear Mitch,
>
> As a medical professional, I will second Steve Ferguson's advice here. I
> understand from what you've said that your father-in-law is an 86 year
> with cancer, undergoing chemotherapy, and too frail to live alone. It
> would be usual in such cases that he would be a tremendous burden to care
> for in his home, even for a young couple. I make these observations not
> knowing the type of cancer, or the patient. However it is a very typical
> scenario that the family flies into town, commits to move or live in, and
> is quickly overwhelmed. The patient may soon expire, and then a number of
> expensive and disruptive family life changes have to be undone.
>
> You'd be much better keeping the GMC, going in it to Arizona, and learning
> the situation firsthand. Ask the doctors, who know the prognosis, and the
> social workers--who just as importantly know the financial and insurance
> options for assisted living--for straight and unvarnished information.
> Ask candidly whether or not, in their opinion, it is really possible for
> you two to care for him in his home. You may wish to ask for a
> rehabilitation medicine consultation. Rehabilitation docs supervise
> multidisciplinary teams of therapists, social workers, and insurance
> experts. They can assess cases such as your father-in-laws' and determine
> whether he can really return home, and predict how much assistance he'll
> need. The team can provide rehab hospitalization to work on activities of
> daily living to make a potential return to home more likely to succeed.
> You may also find out assisted living or even skilled nursing home care is
> now the most realistic option. When my father di
> ed suddenly and unexpectedly, thereby revealing my mother's slowly
> developing dementia, it was hard enough for my four of my six siblings,
> their spouses, and I to fly into Michigan, in rotation, to take care of my
> physically healthy mother. That effort was on top of another brother and
> sister still living in Michigan full time. I can't imagine having taken
> care of someone who was gravely ill, such as needing frequent doctors
> visits, home infusions, and perhaps suffering from chemo side effects.
>
> One final point: make alternative plans early. You need a complete plan
> several layers deep, not just one rickety plan that depends mainly upon
> assumptions, hopes, and perhaps guilt. My parents were relatively well
> off and had long-term care insurance. Nevertheless it took several months
> to arrange assisted living because of the space (bed availability) issue.
> If there is any chance your father-in-law may need assisted living or
> nursing home care (whether skilled or unskilled) then work on those
> options right away. Too many people wait "until it is really necessary"
> (of course, it was usually necessary months previously) and then find
> they're on the bottom of everyone's admission waiting list. Although
> waiting seems like the dutiful and respectful choice, it actually can
> threaten the sick person's health and life and simultaneously wreck yours.
>
> Anyway, this is a version of a talk I've had many hundreds of times. It
> is always difficult. Try to be realistic. Have your wife (the daughter)
> read this email, perhaps.
>
> Kind regards,
> Mike Lincoln (MD, Associate Professor of Medicine, University of Utah)
> 1978 CK Royale
>
>
> On Nov 26, 2010, at 7:44 AM, Steven Ferguson wrote:
>
>> That is really tough. We have been there and know well the trials that
>> you
>> face.
_______________________________________________
GMCnet mailing list
List Information and Subscription Options:
http://temp.gmcnet.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/gmclist
All is well with my Lord
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